The Top Shelf...

I've been looking at the top shelf of the magazine shelf at my local supermarket. And before you ask, no, I was not looking for porn! Instead I've been trying to find my regular gadget mags that I normally buy.

Whilst I'm already understanding that lad's magazines such as FHM, Nuts and Zoo probably do need to be on the top shelf. I'm struggling to understand why my usual tech magazines such as Stuff and T3 have had most of their bottom halfs covered.

Back in my teenage years, I used to buy Nuts and Zoo a lot. Back in the time before they became a porn mag. When I first bought it, it was pretty tame. Nowadays, it's ex-Big Brother stars showing their balloons like they have no shame (oh wait, they probably don't). Then I started reading FHM with the same idea since some of the content were more interesting such as fashion tips and the occasional fitness advice (of which, despite all the reading, I have not taken into practice).

But with Stuff and T3. The only 'raunchy' bit I see is the front cover. The rest are consumer electronic reviews and gaming stuff. Granted, some of the photo work in T3 is aiming more at the woman then the electronics in some sort of gratutious fashion but I doubt there someone who's masturbating over the new shiny iPhone (and dear god please get help if you do!) nor do people intend to buy the magazine for the lovely lady shown in the middle of the magazines. They don't mention the model's name and neither do they interview her in a page 3 style manner where they expect their opinion of current affairs.

If you go on the websites I've mentioned, you see little to no sexual content at all. But move into FHM or Maxim, then you see their intentions and marketing straight off.


Now I was under the idea that top-shelf mags are for porno mags or magazines that have sexy ladies that are pretty much close to porno mags. Yet I almost feel ashamed and disgusted if I'm only getting a magazine off the top rack because the moment you reach for that, people around you start staring and think 'Oh dear! I know what that boy's up to in the next hour!' It's actually making me ashamed to be geek!

I see more boobs and cleavage in Heat magazine! You don't see them getting covered up do you?

So the next time someone sees me pick up a mag from the top shelf. Fine, think what you want, but it's not what you think. Yes I like reading geeky magazines and there's no shame in it.

And for anyone else who has to know, porn is on the internet. I do not need a magazine for that!

OMG! I finished all my exams!!.....Now What?

I just finished my last (and possibly last EVER) exam. All I have left is my dissertation to do....

....

....

I'm bored already!!

I've been yearning for all this free time after my exams and now that I have, what do i do?!

I'm currently writing myself a list of things to do during my dissertation work for 3 months.

* Complete Portal 2 co-op

Incidentally,

* Find a Portal 2 partner for co-op

* Make some money by some sort of money-making scheme

* Go to gym more

* Erm.... Find a job?

How NOT to revise!

I don't know why they invent easter holidays. Easter's during the holidays when all the kids 16 and up are spent most of the holidays revising and although having chocolate eggs is a plus, still does not hide that fact that you're spending your holidays 'holidaying'....

I have about 2 weeks before my big exams coming up. It's hard to believe that I've been studying for nearly 20 years now and you'd have thought after 20 years of learning to learn and revise, I'd have got the hang of it now. But I haven't and I spend most of the time procrastinating. I particularly remember my maths A levels resits which mostly involved me doing past papers and writing notes about a week before the exam. To my own surprise, I came out with an A in Maths and B in Further Maths! Unfortunately, as soon as I decide to do engineering, I find out that I'm forced to LEARN things properly to get a good mark which has been hit and miss so far.

So, although I'm not the perfect person to write this, here's a list of things to do to revise for an exam for all those poor students and kids having to face the most gruelling days of their lives:

Find a quiet place - Your bedroom, the library, the basement, a soundproof room, a graveyard, a room full of deaf people. Anywhere where you can get peace and solitude to work.

Treat your studying like you how you would do if you're working - By this I mean work like you're going to work. As in job 'work'. In other words, get this right or you're going to get fired! In fact, you're not gonna get fired, you won't get a job! And therefore you're already fired before you're even hired!

No TV should be turned on - the only exception is if you have an exam on television programmings... though I would love to see a uni course to a study on TV programs and whatnot. Maybe they'd call it something crazy like 'Media Studies'! Ha!

All distractions should be kept out of your room - THis means TV mentioned above, games consoles magazines, porn, your girlfriend in front of you, that pen with that picture of a woman that takes her clothes off when you press the pen down etc... (actually, I don't think i've seen them in a while)

Avoid the Bed The bed is the equivalent of Sienna Miller asking to have urgently have sex with you but you are tied to a chair until you finish this revision... well you get the picture.

Coffee is your friend - Some say coffee is the solution to all of life's problems. Although they will not solve the Bernoulli Equations (a small engineering joke...), it does help you concentrate. I have bad after-effects of coffee when I get comedowns (similar to taking drugs) after a while and just sleep it off... in fact, coffee occasionally helps me sleep at night which is ironic I guess

Facebook is your enemy! - I've written down on my diary to arrange to sue Mark Zuckerberg for all the hours I've lost on Facebook...

And finally

DO NOT START WRITING BLOGS TO PROCRASTINATE!

and that's all, I will leave you with this video :)

Red Rum! Blue Vodka! Black Whisky!

Contrary to what many people think, I rarely go to the bookies. One of the only times I go is to make a small bet on the Grand National. This is the 3rd time I've done this and given the fact that I know as much information about horse racing than I do about brain surgery, I pretty much have to get really lucky to win one.

Upon my third time in betting for the grand national, I realised that I was burning money betting on horses with odds of 50-1 or more. The past two years I put a quid on a two 100-1 horses and they didn't pop up. Now if I put that statistically, assuming that the probability is actually correct (which it probably won't be), then for every 100 goes I place a bet on this, it should pop up once. Figuring that, I realised it wasn't going to happen this year so I'd put my money on safer bets.

(Those of you who do maths should already be aware that this is not actually true... Yes I'm not stupid... most of the time)

Next decision is to choose a horse based on a funny name. Last year I put a few bets on lots of funny names such as Big Fella Thanks, The Package, Made in Taipan, Hello Bud and this pretty unusual one called 'Don't Push It'. Personally, I think the odds are based on how ridiculous the names are. The more ridiculous, the higher odds. This would probably mean that more suckers would put bets on this horse thinking that they have a 'special' chance to win it. Of course it never happens (bar the odd fluke of a time) and bookies rake it in.

Of course, if I ever owned a horse, I would probably put the name down as 'Your Mum'. The joke would be hilarious the first time round. But then you'd eventually get sick of the joke because you'd hear it all the time. You then apply this logic to winning races and therefore 'Your Mum' would be perfect!

Using this approach I look for a name that looked pretty cool and not too ridiculous. Looking at the names this year, some I recognise from last year. Some that I've chosen before and regretted, others that I've chosen before and reaped in my winnings. And then some that just sound to crazy to be true. Even though I won last year with Don't Push It, I'm also aware that no horse has won it twice in a row since Red Rum so I decided not to 'push my luck' on it (see what i did there? :P)

So finally deciding, I put a few quid on Silver by Nature and What a Friend after being tipped by a punter there. His reasoning? He was grey haired and was a Man U fan (What a Friend is part owned by Sir Alex Ferguson). Using this same logic because I too was also grey and red, I went to bet on these as well. Good luck to me!

Taking a quick glance again, I looked at the weirder names on the list and I saw 'Ballabriggs'. What a name! A name so crazy like that would never win a race surely!

And there goes my story of how I didn't win anything on the Grand National.

The Significance of Protesting

Put your placards up, write a sign, speak to the world and try to fight the power!

The past few months have seen a bigger jump in popularity in protesting than Justin Beiber supporters! (actually, that's a bit of a lie, because Justin Beiber's a c***). Tuition fees, cuts, money, pretty much hot topics that have been widely debated for a while. But just how many of these protests were successful and overturned a decision in their favour?

Tuition Fees? Close, but failed. Cuts? Not really. Libya? Well, it's a mess at the moment at least. EDL? Well they just like to batter things up.

Now I'm not saying I'm against protests. I think it's one of the greatest forms of voicing your power and significance towards a government or higher power. But the success rate is so slim that it's either because their minds have been made up or it's too little too late.

And then you have the credibility of a protest(or). I'm pretty sure 99% of a protest group are actually true to their cause. But it takes just that small minority to fuck things up and bring their credibility to that of a small child. All that minority has to do is break a window, start a riot, say a stupid thing. Like many massive groups, it takes one person to fuck it up for everyone. Which is a shame really because that minority is either a little 'over' enthusiastic about a protest or is simply there just to cause trouble and sabotage the whole protest from the beginning (which I'm sure happens).

The tuition fee was just clearly asking for a riot. If you're asking students (which I'm sure 99% are clean cut) to protest. And also being along bunches of 16-17 yr old hooded gangs into the mix, you're going to massively ask for trouble. And unfortunately, the media love things like this and show the dark side of this rather than the rest of the group which are all safe and clean.

The media also like to publish credibility on ONE individual out of a protest and publish how rich this kid is to be complaining about tuition fee rises. Whilst yes, there could possibly be a fact that his parents are well off but it doesn't mean that he can't protest about cuts in fees at all.

(I should mention that I hate newspapers and havent bought or properly read one page to page in about 10 years, and even then all I read was the comic strips!)

Now the last protest I went to was in 2003 against the war in Iraq. Well I say protest, it was just most of the school deciding to stay outside after lunch in the field area. Much as I had no idea how this was going to make an impact, the idea came after the local paper put a rival school on the front page saying all these school kids were doing the same thing as a protest to the war in Iraq.

Now I got to be honest, seriously? The idea to protest a war in Iraq was to stay outside, miss school lessons and basically pull a 'sickie' at school? I'm not sure who actually started this protest but if your idea was to gather the whole school playground into one area and play truant. You managed to get that working alright. Although it actually had no point on the war in Iraq at all. No signs, placards or music. But all the kids went anyway because it's a free excuse to get out and not go to lessons. HUZZAH!

(Yes, I was a tiny 'swot' at school)

Okay, that's enough from me for now. I'm off to protest about why there aren't enough renewable energy power stations by going for lunch. Ho Train Out. :)t

Veggie Week!

Okay, clearly I forgot to write this after announcing that I would go veggie for a week. so here's how I survived the week.

Day 1 - I came to a shock when I realised that my 9am bacon and egg butty wasn't vegetarian! So I had to settle for an egg and hash brown butty instead. Lunch was a Brie and Cranberry baguette and dinner was a margharita pizza.

Day 2 - Standard breakfast of cornflakes (but less bacon in it) and then survived lunch and dinner with chips and a cheesy garlic bread respectively.

Day 3 - Clearly I was cheating this challenge so I decided to cook something myself instead. (I say cook, basically anything that isn't a pizza...) So tried falafel for the first time. Surprisingly nice. It's like the chicken nugget's vegetarian and hotter cousin! Served with greased potatoes...

Dinner saw me try to cook toad in the hole using vegetarian sausages and vegetarian gravy. I cook toad in the hole quite regularly, about once a fortnight and it's always about using the best sausages you can get and a nice, thick gravy and smooth, herby mash. Since I'm using veggie stuff, none of that was possible since the sausages were made of Quorn and I came to remember why I hated Quorn so many years ago. Tasted more like 'Turd' in the hole! (disclaimer: I have NEVER eaten turd before...). The gravy looked more like brown water with a taste like brown water. No matter how much powder I put in, the gravy didn't get any thicker and had about as much taste as a burger completely filled with BLAND!

Day 4 - After an awful dinner, I was feeling the lack of the meat sweats in my walking. Lunch was a halloumi sandwich. Halloumi is chicken's closest brother and I quite liked it.

Dinner was a variation of crispy chili beef (with the beef obviously removed). I tried replacing the beef with tofu. Now I know lots of people hate tofu and it's a vegan thing and it has about as much flavour as eating chalk with a hint of dust on it but it's all about what you cook the tofu in. Cooking involved deep frying the bad boy blocks of tofu and cooking it in a sweet chili sauce. Tasted quite nice and didn't even require any meat!

Day 5 - Friday was Subway Day and to Subway's absolute shock and horror, I didn't order my usual footlong steak and cheese sandwich. So I asked what's in the veggie delite thinking it was some sort of quorn style patty. As it turns out, a veggie delite sub is just a sub with salad in it!! I asked the guy at the counter 'Couldn't you just call it a salad sub instead to save the confusion?' and the guy replies that it's a 'Marketing Ploy'... Like I'm sure you're going to sell a lot more subway sandwichs by renaming bread and salad into something more 'delite'ful!. I'd hate to see how they would rename 'Cheese on Bread'.... Probably something Welsh...

In the night, I got an egg mayonnaise sandwich for tea. Ironically, I like eggs, I like mayonnaise, but I don't like to mix both of these together in a sandwich myself. Yet i'd still eat it...

Day 6 - After a crazy night out while only being able to drink spirits and mixers (some beers contain meat according to my vegetarian friends), I stopped into a vegetarian restaurant in town and went to see what they had. They had everything on the menu except for the obvious... tofu.... (and meat obviously). So I decided to go for a 'Whaletail' Pie and salad. The pie was something like a potato and mushroom tart with cheese on and the salad was filled with everything except lettuce, cucumber or tomatoes! I didn't really like cabbage nor have a thing lentils so i left the salad out.

Night time was a vegetarian frittata. Basically all the leftover eggs and vegetables I had the left.

Day 7 - Sunday Roast! Went for a nut roast. I was always wondering what was in a Nut roast and thought it was lots of nuts crammed into some sort of bready filling. Turns out I was half right. Although it does sound more disappointing that it's simply just stuffing with nuts in it...

Dinner was a vegetarian japanese katsu curry. Basically, fry some vegetables, pour hot water over it. Then add a curry roux (which is sort of like curry on a stick) and it makes a really nice japanese style curry. The main difference with other curries is that it's sweeter and not as spicy

And there we go! 7 days of going veggie. I actually held on for an extra day because I didn't even realise I missed my meat! I probably could've gone a whole month no problem but unfortunately that failed when I decided to eat a marshmallow and realised that's made made from meat. FML

Going Veggie!

I've decided to go Veggie for a week (perhaps longer, I haven't decided yet). I thought it might be in an interesting experiment to try as well as how well it goes as a weightloss plan etc.

The idea came to me after Phil Ivey (google him) had a $2 million dollar bet to go vegetarian for a whole year but gave up and bought out after 3 weeks! I was thinking to myself "what a pussy! how hard can it be?".

The rules are:

* Not allowed to eat anything that moves.
* Gelatine is not allowed, this must be checked on any labels. Therefore, no jellies, marshmallows.
* Certain alcohols need to be checked if they are veggie friendly
* Failure will result in a £30 donation to charity

I'll be divulging the food I've eaten over the week and how I managed to survive in a later blog!