Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Apparantly, I am never happy, and just to prove I'm not always depressed about everything. Everything in this blog will all be about happy stuff.

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Chelsea lost yesterday. :)

I paid ten quid to stare at hot women in the gym... is that wrong?

I've been going to the gym regularly since I graduated from uni since I have nothing better to do.

Ah Gyms, the greatest money making scheme since someone figured out you can make a fat person run if you hang a piece of cake in front of them! Unfortunately, this plan fails when the fat person manages to eat the cake, stops running, dies or has developed a skill to not run for the cake. This is where this concept evolved into the gym!

I've probably been going on and off the gym for nearly 7 years and the only thing getting lighter is my wallet! But not everyone is going to the gym to lose weight, perhaps not even to keep fit... perhaps it's so you can stay at the back and slowly stare at erm.... TVs.... and the other surroundings...

The weight equipment gym is the one lick of black paint. chains and straps away from becoming bondage equipment from the looks of things. putting hands and feet in wierd positions and everyone making grunting noises looking like they're about to drop a bombshell!

The big problem with going to gyms is the irony (and im not one to talk either) about going to gyms is getting there. if you drive there, you're classed as a lazy guy. Yet if you walk,nay, run to the gym, then youve defeated all the hard work you were going to use in the gym and you'd may as well go back!

And it's not like you're gonna cancel your membership or anything. for three reasons: 1) the hot men and women who work at the gym have a special sexy ability to stop you from quitting. and 2) there's that little niggling inside your head that says 'but what if you gain 2 stone and need to use it again?!' and finally 3) you have no excuse any more that claims you are not fat :P

plus the amount you work off cancels off what ur about to eat. a chicken mayo sandwich is about 300-400 calories, which is about an hour on the gym bike. a curry is about 800 to 1000 calories so burning that off requires nearly 45 minutes nonstop sprinting on the treadmill! it almost makes you wanna go 'fuck it! bring out the lyposuction machine and send me to the moon!'

right, that just said a lot of words...wow so...many...words....need to recover energy!

thats all for today. and dont forget, once you been to the gym, order your burger, fries, pizza and DIET COKE to wash it all down :D